Grumpy Sundays
Pages for Betsy (in memory) and Pepper are up! You can also click on the “About the Meowers” tab at the top of site to see the full list.
So it’s Sunday night and crabiness abounds as usual. I have struggled with “grumpy Sundays” since probably 2003 and my first full-time job out of college. Even when I was a stay-at-home wife, I still struggled with grumpy Sundays.
I’m not really sure how to cure grumpy Sundays, but the core of the issue is just having to start the week over. It’s just the humdrum cycle all over again.
Another week of 2+ hour daily commutes. Another week of juggling work schedules and mealtimes and babysitters. Another week of only having an hour or two to myself a night before I have to go to bed and do it all over again. Another week of attempting to keep the house from falling into complete chaos. Another week of watching the ever-shrinking bank account and hoping I didn’t miss something in our shoestring budget for the week. Another week of hoping my car doesn’t go AWOL again because we don’t have the money to fix it. Another week of hoping a cat doesn’t get sick because we don’t have the money for a vet visit. Another week of hoping nothing goes wrong in the house because we don’t have the money to fix it. Another week of no lunch breaks at work ’cause I’m so friggin’ busy (or a week where there’s not a lot to do, but I’m completely burnt out from 3 months of too much work).
It’s so hard to shut my brain off lately. About the only way to quieten it is sleep, which I do way too much of (or put off too long because I don’t want to have to face the inevitable next morning). And my brain is way more prone to hitting overload lately too. If discussions get to long or drawn out, I just start feeling weary from it all and just want it to go AWAY.
About the only things that hold my attention anymore are movies/TV and here lately, this blog. I am like that kid on a rainy day who has all these toys at his/her disposal, but the kid is just so BORED. I just don’t have the energy to put into anything.
I know what this is. I know I’m crashing back down into depression hard, fast, and in a hurry. My biggest concern right now is cost. My doctor tried to put me on Lexapro last year, but it was just too expensive and I couldn’t do it. I don’t really want to try Zoloft again because some of the side effects really got to me. I don’t know if I should try medication, or therapy, or a combination thereof (which I would prefer).
I also know a change in diet and exercise would probably help. And I’m trying to make changes in that as well. But it’s a constant Catch-22…you want the energy benefit from exercise, but you’ve got to have the energy TO exercise. And yes, I know all about willpower and “just doing it whether you want to or not” but it’s really not about laziness. It just feels like flat-out weariness and exhaustion.
I really hope I can find an answer soon.
I know my posts haven’t been very kitty-heavy since the beginning of the year. I will try to get you your kitty fix tomorrow night.
Quixote in a rare moment of cuteness. Won’t you come rub his tummy? He promises he won’t bite too hard
